The Dating Game: The Honeymoon’s Over

February 27, 2008

By Brandi Miller 

Most relationships go through a “honeymoon period.” This is the time when you don’t see the negative personality traits in your new love; you think the way he or she acts is “so cute” and cannot imagine how anything he or she does could possibly annoy you. It’s also the time when you are both on your best behavior, and wouldn’t want to do anything selfish or annoying to your new partner. This is why friends have always told us that you don’t truly know someone until you have been together for three months. Where this rule of thumb began, I don’t have a clue, but when you hit that three month mark, it does seem that you see the real person you are dating.


As time goes by (and from experience it isn’t anywhere near enough time) you both start to get comfortable being around each other, you test the waters, see what you can get away with and maybe don’t really care so much about what you can’t – you’re going to do it anyway. This seems to be when most relationships end, and when the people involved realize they weren’t compatible to begin with. If you think about it, how many boyfriends or girlfriends have you gone out with for a few months, only to find out he or she was a complete idiot? The honeymoon period has ended and you woke up from your Cinderella/Prince Charming dream and saw the person was really a troll instead.


After this period ends, if you’re lucky, you find that you really do want to be with this person. Sure, you have problems. You have probably had a few arguments at this point, some apologies, some good makeup sex, but no relationship is without its problems. There is no perfect fairytale romance where you agree on every subject, never fight, and have sunshine and roses all the time. That would be pretty boring. This is the time when you form a routine, when you can stop wearing sexy lingerie to bed and wear your very unsexy sweatshirt and pajama pants.


It is important, though, to maintain some impulsiveness. Do new things together, and don’t stop doing the things you did in the beginning, like watching old movies in bed with a big bowl of popcorn. Try to surprise your mate with something you know they will like, be creative, don’t take him or her for granted because you think they aren’t going anywhere. And most importantly of all, make sure you talk about problems instead of bottling them.


Usually the things that attracted you to that person in the first place are still there; it’s just that you know more about him or her now and sometimes that might cloud those traits you found so endearing. Keep those traits in mind and try to build on them to make a really great relationship. In marriage sometimes people go on a second honeymoon—no one said that the same idea cannot be applied to dating.


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